Six years ago...
Jesus: ":) I agree. Tell them about me and all the stuff that comes with me."
Me: "I will. Soon. It seems like all speakers and preachers have one, and I feel left out 'cause I don't write. I also need something to sell when I go places. More approval, more money, did I mention approval?"
Jesus: ":| Nope. Not what I meant."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, your right Jesus. You always are. I'll start it soon... for you, of course."
At least once a month since then...
Jesus: "Blog, book?"
Me: "Sure. Soon."
Arghhh! What is it about getting started with the transformation that is so hard for me? I'm reminded of Paul's letter to the Romans, chapter 7 "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." I'm sure this will be a recurring theme here on this blog.
I've got a ton of aspirations and dreams, great ideas and goals. Primary of these, is being holy. (Secondary, is a disposable coffee cup that when coffee is poured into it, sugar and/or cream is automatically dispensed to your liking, eliminating the need for a little trash can for creamer and sugar packet trash.) However, when I step back and look at all these great ideas. It all just seems so daunting, time consuming and hard. And sometimes, it's just the fact that I don't even know where to start. Recently I read the Gospel of Matthew, chapters 5 through 7. And I can honestly say that there was not a single command, from the sermon on the mount, that I have been able to master. "Let your light shine, love your enemies, be meek, give your extra coat, do not pray with empty phrases." FAIL. As I reflected on this seemingly depressing fact, I was struck with a couple of things. First, that I really do have everything that I need to fulfill these commands, namely the Holy Spirit, who is our help and dwells in us that we might become partakers of the Divine Nature. And secondly, I just need to start hacking away.
The irritations are there, the failures, etc. I just need to start cooperating with what I have been given to find joy in them, to itch them, if you will.
Welcome to my blog. I pray that together, we find Hope in our weaknesses.
1 comment:
I can relate completely! I think whenever I get stuck, it's because I feel like I can't move forward without approval -- approval from friends, the general public, etc. I revert to where I was before I realized how revolutionary Jesus is! In other words, I have this occasional desire to get to go against the grain without actually going against the grain. Great entry. I'm stoked about this blog!
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