#2 is my gift enough?

I love Jesus...

When He's asked which [one] command was the first of all, He gives two.  One very lofty and ideal and one very practical and hard.  The second actually gives a hint at how "not easy" the first is.  Aka: if we love God, we obey His commands. 

In the synoptic Gospels, it's phrased something like this, "You shall love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength" and "love your neighbor as yourself." 

Love it! Actually doing this... of course, much harder.  If it wasn't, it wouldn't have made the list of Holy Irritations. 

The truth is, I love to give. I love the "feeling" of giving a really great gift. I love surprising folks with a thoughtful gift, or a gift that far exceeds their expectations.  It's also really cool to be known as a "good gift giver" or a "thoughtful person".  This Christmas, we and a couple of other families gave a dairy cow to a family in Africa!  It really was a lot of fun, imagining their faces when they saw our gift.  From an outsiders perspective, I look like a nice person, a good Christian, a person who is loving folks as myself. 

But really? As myself? Really. Really? 

I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure loving folks as myself would mean I would spend just as much money on neighbors as I do on myself and just as much time praying for others as I do for my own intentions.  I don't ever recall looking at my budget or my time in this way.  I give mostly on my terms, and from my excess, not my need. 

What would it look like, if I were able to take this command seriously? What would me neighborhood or my home look like? Crazy.

This week I texted a word to a number and donated 10 bucks to the rescue efforts in Haiti. And it felt awesome!  Then I saw some more horrifying pictures from the tragedy, so I decided to do it again. This time I gave $15.  For some reason, it didn't feel as good.  Jesus was irritating me with His command to love more deeply.  Side note: If you didn't do at least this much, I'm not sure you can call yourself human. Unless of course you were totally oblivious to the situation over there.  

Giving a couple of bucks to the relief efforts in Haiti is the human thing to do!  That being said, I can't help being haunted by Jesus commands. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Is giving this amount of money, the Christian thing to do? Is this really loving neighbors as yourself?  

So as I'm sipping my coffee, clicking away on my blog, my neighbor is suffering, dying, without parents, without children, without hope, without a home... 

I'm irritated. Lord, give me the Grace to not only know what to do, but to do it.